I just found the best Facebook page
starkid challenge - nine characters [9/9] draco malfoy
You must be Harry Potter, the famous bastard. My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a racist. I despise gingers and Mudbloods. I hate Gryffindor House and my parents work for the man that killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?
Did you always want to be a comedian? No. No, I ah, I still don’t. I’m a little different than other comedians in that way. I’ve never wanted this. I was hoping to be a stripper, and I made some wrong turns.